This is what we've been waiting for???

[martinlivings]

Torchwood.

It's an anagram of Doctor Who.

Hmm.

So, what's an anagram of "Total and utter shite"?

I mean, this group's meant to have been around since Queen Victoria's time, yet they're totally clueless, unprofessional, unreliable, have no protocols or procedures whatsoever, and entirely consist of five, count 'em, five people. Everything that happens, at least in the first two episodes, happens BECAUSE of them and their own stupidity. People die because of them. Lots of people. And they show not the slightest iota of concern about this. We're meant to like these characters? At all????

This show contains the same level of illogic and bad writing as Doctor Who. The difference is, we forgive Doctor Who because, well, it's Doctor Who, and aimed at a young audience. This, on the other hand, is meant to be for adults, and as such I'd expect a certain level of sophistication and character development. How can something like this be made when there are shows like Lost, Heroes and Battlestar Galactica out there showing exactly what can be done in SF television for adults? Unnatural snappy banter and gratuitous sex and violence are no substitute for smart writing, acting and production values. They should have known better.

This show truly pisses me off. It took a semi-decent concept and turned it into something truly mindless and damn-near offensive. And everyone's going "oh wow, it's great", but what they're seeing is what they wanted to see, what they've been waiting for for a year or so. Hopefully, after a few episodes like this, they'll see that the emperor is naked, and drop it like the steaming pile of crap it is.

Oh, and Captain Jack (please, stop swooning ladies, John Barrowman is as openly gay as a floral bag stuffed full of butterflies) is genuinely pathetic in this. And I liked him in Doctor Who.

Comments

[throughsoftair.livejournal.com]

So, what's an anagram of "Total and utter shite"?

Babylon 5? :)

(Ducks and runs, grinning)

After two less than awe-inspiring Dr Who seasons I find myself utterly apathetic about Torchwood, and Captain jack bugged me in the Dr Who episodes, so he's no attraction (And honestly, it's not like Barrowman is that good an actor). If the fans like it then great, maybe it'll get teh time to find its legs, but I'll be giving it the requisite three episodes for my boys, and then choosign to pass if it isn't good enough.

[battblush.livejournal.com]

I'll be giving it the requisite three episodes for my boys

The boys? What about your frickin' wife???? I'll be watching for as long as Captain Jack's swaggering his cute butt around the set and you'll be watching it with me. (The show, not his butt)

For the boys indeed

[battblush.livejournal.com]

You don't have to be straight to be swoon-worthy. Look at Alan Cummin(g?)s. I expected John Barrowman to be gay because he's just too hot for words.

Pity the show is so crap though.

[capnoblivious.livejournal.com]

Harsh, and not unjustified.

But:
I mean, this group's meant to have been around since Queen Victoria's time, yet they're totally clueless, unprofessional, unreliable...

Dude, the entire British public service has been around since before Queen Victoria's time and...

(Though I'll concede the protocols and procedures.)

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Shrug - at least it has something that could be described as snappy banter, which is more than most of its competition. Its notably missing in Lost and Heroes, IMO - which also have sloppy writing too.

I think Joss has just ruined us by raising out expectations too high....

[martinlivings.livejournal.com]

Snappy banter's great, as long as it's appropriate, in context, and most of all, springs from the mouths of characters we give a crap about. From someone we like, it's charming. From someone we don't, it's annoying. This actually sums up my attitude to a lot of shows that people seem to worship, like "Everybody Loves Raymond", "Seinfeld" or "Coupling", to name but three. Great dialogue + repulsive characters = unwatchable television.

Torchwood's characters are awful, plain and simple. Lost and Heroes don't have the witty rejoinders of Buffy, true, but they have good, strong characters that you end up caring about (or I do, at least), which makes it more realistic, unlike Buffy or Angel or Firefly which were set in a parallel universe where everyone has a snappy comeback. Russell Davies has eschewed character development and replaced it with smart but vapid dialogue. Sure, it'd be great to have both, and Whedon truly is the master of that, but if I have to lose one or the other, it's the dialogue every time that gets the boot. If I don't care what happens to them, why listen to their smart turns of phrases?

[strangedave.livejournal.com]

Great dialogue + repulsive characters = unwatchable television.

Well, that explains why I can't stand House. But I actually don't find it an issue in comedy in the same way, which is why I like "Coupling" and "Green Wing".

Lost and Heroes don't have the witty rejoinders of Buffy, true, but they have good, strong characters that you end up caring about (or I do, at least), which makes it more realistic,

Yeah, they are totally failing to make me care in Heroes. I think the characters powers are interesting, and I think the characters sound OK on paper, but they totally fail to work for me on screen. And I think a lot of it is down to limp dialogue and lazy writing.

[angriest.livejournal.com]

Still haven't seen any Heroes, but I found it interesting that after missing the first few episodes of Lost this year and figuring "I'll just catch the DVD", six months free of the show has left me unable to give a crap about it.

Emperors with no clothes indeed.

[martinlivings.livejournal.com]

I'm enjoying the new season of Lost, downloading and watching. It's damn good. Especially compared to Torchwood, getting back on topic. ;)

And Heroes is really rather interesting. Try not to judge it by its credits, as you seem to have done. *g*

[angriest.livejournal.com]

No, just noted how inexcusably awful those credits were before postponing viewing the whole ep until the wife can see it too.

[splanky.livejournal.com]

You are so right about "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Seinfeld".

But but but... how can you lump "Coupling" in with them???? You are so wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!!!

Wrong.

[martinlivings.livejournal.com]

Your Moffatt blind spot is deceiving you. :)

[willowgypsy.livejournal.com]

See, I was torn. Do I read below the cut? I don't care whats below the cut, if its about Torchwood, but ... I'm not crazy... or only slightly... so ... ARGHH!! :)

[martinlivings.livejournal.com]

No massive spoilers are contained within, just general rants. But I make no promises that avid spoiler-avoiders won't be annoyed. You know the ones, they don't watch the ads or the "Next Week On..." at the end of episodes. ;)