Quantum of Blech...

[martinlivings]

So, I'm avoiding doing my writing today, just can't seem to get my head around it (I shouldn't have taken the weekend off, I've lost my flow!). And, as such, I thought I'd mention that we saw "Quantum of Solace" over the weekend.

The general consensus I've seen in my f-list was that it was very good.

I beg to differ.

Okay, there were some good things. Daniel Craig as Bond is excellent, as is Judi Dench as M. And some of the cinematography was rather good.

And... uh, well, that's about it.

Let's get onto the bad stuff. I don't think I'll list everything, or else I'll be here all day. So let's just pick on the biggies.

• The editing - it seems marc Forster has watched the new Bourne movies and decided "oh, that's how you do action, just cut it to shreds and jumble it up!". He didn't seem to understand that Paul Greengrass and his ilk have a special skill in creating a chaotic mess that, at its heart, you can still make sense of. His cameras somehow find the important items, even amongst the jump-cuts, so the audience picks up the context almost at a subliminal level.
  
  There's no such context in "Quantum". The action makes so sense. Fight scenes devolve into random men hitting other random men, with no clue as to which is the good guy and which is the bad guy. A car chase in incomprehensible. A boat chase is genuinely baffling (how DID that other boat flip???).
  
  It's impossible to become involved in a film that doesn't let you in at all. You might as well be watching a dozen different action films on different channels and randomly switching between them.
  
  
• The title sequence and song - holy shit, they were bad, even by Bond standards. Camp and completely inappropriate. And Jack White should hang his head in shame for that song. Seriously.
  
  
  
• The general stupidity of Bond, MI6 and everyone else in the film - So, Bond finds a woman who clearly has links to the bad guy, rescues her, and... walks away, not keeping any sort of track of her. Brilliant. MI6 shut down Bond, but he manages to keep going anyway. Also brilliant.
  
  And so on, and so on.
  
  Almost every step of this move was dictated by the stupidity of the characters. If a single one of them had half a brain, the film would have been ten minutes long. But then we wouldn't have had...
  
  
• The plot - um, what plot? It was a hackneyed and contrived series of plot coupons to lead to random exotic locations, with a neverending series of scenes that don't actually come to anything (the underground water, the opera house, etc etc etc). It's something that typifies the worst of the Bond films, and something that "Casino Royale" adirmably largely avoided. And in the end, it all gets forgotten as they go to...
  
  
• The World's Most Explosive Hotel - I mean, what the fuck??? A hotel that, if you crash a single car in it, the entire thing goes off like it's built entirely out of C4? Of course, that was sheer gritty realism compared to...
  
  
• The World's Shortest Parachute Jump - parachute opens a second before they hit the ground... and they're fine. Oh yes, this is the new Bond, less ludricous than he was before. And, of course, he's a damaged man, burned by his relationship with Vespa, which is why...
  
  
• Bond bonks Strawberry Fields - yes, Bond is back, and having meaningless sex with ridiculously-named women for no reason whatsoever. Who, of course, die. Not that this will stop him doing it again, and again, and again.

Oh yes, folks, Bond is back, after the temporary aberration that was "Casino Royale", we have the completely unrealistic, cartoonish movies we all loved so much back.

Oh, except for me. I was hoping "Casino Royale" was how the movies were going to be from now on. It appears I was mistaken.

Hugely disappointing. Two stars.

Gawd, do I have to get back to my chapter now? No, please don't make me...

Comments

[angriest.livejournal.com]

Rather predictably, I completely disagree with you.

Except for the editing - the car chase at the start was pretty much unwatchable, which is a shame since they trashed a very expensive prototype and put a stuntman into the emergency ward while shooting it. I bet he is not impressed.

Plus the Jack White-Alicia Keys song was rubbish, but the credits that accompanied them were very cool.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

agreed.

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

What a grumpy pants you are, Mr Livings. Bond movies are fantasy movies. If its realism you're after, try the National Geographic channel.

[martinlivings.livejournal.com]

I compare to the film before it. It was a good Bond movie, but a crappy film, unlike "Casino Royale" which was a good film but probably not a great Bond film. Guess which I'd prefer? ;)

[catsparx.livejournal.com]

They were both good Bond films IMHO

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

The World's Most Explosive Hotel

And that's what happens when you get the lowest bidder to build it. Occupational Health and Safety standards my foot.